As long as we depend on others for our sense of self, we never glimpse the joy in being wholly ourselves, which give rise to an entirely different kind of love and desire. Growth is seeded when you first draw upon your belief in yourself rather than continuing to rely on a reflected sense of self-worth.
The transition itself is the leap of faith to self-validated intimacy.
Our moment of self acceptance in a love relationship is the crucial moment in this relationship.
It is the watershed of all human relations.
It is what most of us, most of the time, stop short of Self Acceptance.
For this is the vital point at which our belief in our goodness is not strong enough to carry us forward.
It is always some, often subtle, self rejection that hinders us from believing in another who finds us attractive. The self rejection that stops us from seeing what the other does see in us.
And thus our weak sense of our goodness holds us short of interdependent relationships, and keeps us in dependent relationships. We are willing slaves to beauty rather than sharers in beauty.