Intimacy challenges your sense of self as well as your relationship with your partner.
Emotional gridlock arises when partners become overly dependent on each others validation.
1. If you want to keep intimacy alive, your level of differentiation must keep pace with your partner's increasing importance to you.
2. The point at which your partner's importance exceeds your level of differentiation results in another layer of emotional gridlock.
3. Gridlock caused by your partner's growing importance sets the stage for your shift to self-validated intimacy and enhance differentiation.
Use the connection between intimacy, sexuality, and differentiation to facilitate the growth necessary to free yourself from emotional gridlock and experience profound sex and intimacy. You can't stop taking care of yourself once you are married, although that is what we tend to do.
It doesn't hurt to marvel at the fact that it is our partner's growing importance--and not indifference--that creates problems (and new solutions) to long term relationships.