1. Remove the toxic substance or behavior.
2. Look back and make new choices
about old messages and feelings.
3. Develop new behaviors and feelings that
enhance a budding new growth of self-worth.
Self worth is a choice, not a birthright.
Many people were born into families and to parents
who themselves were not given healthy dose of self-worth.
This lack is passed on from generation to generation.
From an early age a child experiences the world in relationship to self.
To the child, the world reflects back an image that helps the child form, to define himself or herself.
If the world (parents, friend, family, teachers) presents the child with a picture of that child's worth,
the child feels worthy and acts in a manner that increases worthiness.
Far too many children were born into families where parents were poorly prepared
to give them the care and attention needed for healthy growth.
Some parents were too busy establishing their own worth and place in the world.
Other parents were children themselves.
Emotionally repressed and stoic parents tend to produce
emotionally repressed and stoic children,
not just by rules alone, but also by their own example.
The child finds spontaneity and emotional freedom
giving way to what is "proper" and "appropriate" and socially acceptable,
and one's person-hood takes
another step backwards - a giant step backward.
A child in this environment begins to fear "feeling and emotions"
and tries to develop ways to control feelings.
What then authentically felt gives way to what is proper to feel,
and "reality" becomes distorted.
Instead of feeling what we feel, we feel what is proper to feel and
we learn to ignore
our inner experience.