I have so many moments in my past that
I beat myself up about over again and again.
And the majority of them are stories of me
saying something stupid,
doing something awful
or any combination in between.
Yet I go over them, over and over,
until the path to those thoughts
becomes worn down and easy to travel.
I find myself going through them
without even actively trying.
Rumination becomes a means to escape uncertainty.
And maybe some fear.
Yet, It brings me no joy,
makes happiness retreat in the opposite direction
and can be so tiresome.
But what we did
and who were
in the past are
They only exist as ideas in the present
and belong as much to us as anybody else's story does.
We are who we are at this moment
and who we become in the future
starts right now.
Step by step,
moment by moment,
choice by choice.
Of course we need to take responsibility for past actions
if they have had a negative effect or caused harm
that needs repairing,
but for things we can’t change,
and chapters that have ended,
And, we can let the path
to those thoughts
grow back over
and leave them behind.
So today, right now, I am going to
Start a new story.