Tonight my heart is sad,
His kiss was not so wonderful,
As all the dreams I had.
by Sara Teasdale
Most couples state that their normal sexual styles typically don't include intimacy promoting behaviors. Often a couple's sexual style is typically designed to keep intimacy to tolerable levels.
Many people don't want to be seen by their partner. They'd rather make love to the fantasy in their head than the partner in their bed, only to complain five years hence, "You're not the person I thought you were!"
It is inevitable when your unwritten pre-nupital contact stipulates, "I won't really see you if you won't see me. I may demand you look at me when I talk to you in the living room, but don't look at me in bed!"
Why do we think eyes closed kissing and love making is "more romantic?"
For many, love is blind--and we are grateful that it seems that way. We are afraid we wouldn't be loved if we were truly known. We tune out our partner for ourselves to tolerate getting close enough to touch.