Loving is a process that constantly moves from harmony to disharmony, from mutual attunement and responsiveness to mis-attunement and disconnection---and back again.
Up close, this is what love looks like.
I look at you with my eyes wide open, trying to capture your glance, and you catch my expression, widen your eyes, and take my arm.
Alternatively, you ignore my bid for your attention, continue talking about your thoughts, and I turn away. In the next step, we resynchronize and reconnect.
I turn back to you and lean forward and touch your arm; this time, you get my cue and turn toward me, smile, and ask me how I am. This tiny, fleeting moment of repair brings a rush of positive emotion.
Moments of meeting are mutually delightful. I have always thought that at that moment, if we could verbalize thoughts, it would sound something like, "Oh, there you are" or even, "ah here we are together."
Sue Johnson, Love Sense