But alligators don't use partner engagement or role play--they have sex but they don't make love.
If you want to have human sexuality, you have to soothe your reptilian responses so that the "thinking" part of your brain stays in control.
Growth is often uncomfortable, but you won't accomplish much if you never push each other's sexual development. It's been said that evolution is self realization through self transcendence.
The miracle of differentiation is that path to being more than an alligator, and lies in refusing to be a "sexual" one-trick pony!