We use alcohol, drugs, relationships to escape our feelings.
To hide from our pain.
To be 'good enough.'
Once we put down 'our drug of choice'
we get to look at who we really are,
and how do we find ourselves that we have lost,
or perhaps never discovered?
The loss of ourselves in addiction is the loss of identity.
The loss of ourselves in our family roles is the loss of identity.
Self esteem disappears.
Life focus is externalized.
To meet our needs we tried to read
what other people want/or expect us to be.
This doesn't work - eventually we resent them.
We internally feel we lose our chance to succeed in life.
We lost our ability of choice to our addiction.
Success in life - is to be able to choose who we are.
Living the life that is ours is spirituality.
When you notice what other people need,
you don't notice how you feel.
In dysfunctional families,
Self neglect is survival in childhood.
In a family system that is dysfunctional,
alcohol, drugs, abuse,
we become reactors
and loose the abilities "to notice what I need".
We learn denial.
The addictive message of our culture
is the 'magic fix' by 'finding someone else' rather than self.
Only way to happiness is with the self.
You can learn to heal.
Stay in the moment, the day.
Acceptance of who you are, identify what you need.
Understand your feelings,
identify them. Clarify them.
A feeling is only part of us, a feeling informs us.
It has a beginning, a middle and and end.
Learn how to talk to people with your heart and head.
Stay out of judgement,
especially self judgement.
Taking care of yourself is the healing of self.
What would improved self esteem look like?
What do you need today?
Notice all parts of yourself.
List your needs for today to honor yourself.