Because for the Child in us these emotions feel the same.
Our ability as Adults to acknowledge
the vast distinction
helplessness makes it possible
for us to change.
also allows us to function in the Adult mode.
In the process, we must take meaningful chances and face
Being in the Adult mode we know that we will no longer be emotionally destroyed
or devastated by these experiences of risk and vulnerability.
Not daring to pursue what we want often chains us to the past, that Child in us that perceives vulnerability as helplessness. This stops us from reaching our potentials.
Without accepting the possibility of loss, we cannot love.
To love we must be willing to give ourselves as hostage to fate. Otherwise the Child's fears will hold the Adult's present pleasures captive.
Knowing that we have choices and that being vulnerable is no longer the same as being helpless, we can cast off the old chains and free ourselves to pursue what we want.
The goal of therapy is: Where no Choice was, Choice shall be.
The implementation of this knowledge changes the Child to the Adult.
In the Adult state we acknowledge our inner strengths, resources, and choices.
People who experience themselves as Adults never feel emotionally lonely.
They may be alone, but they are not lonely, because they are with themselves and appreciate the good company, but do not feel diminished without it.
In contract, a person who lacks a sense of inner value evokes the Child, which carries with the the associated emotions of loneliness and the fear of being "home alone."
That person fails to appreciate that even though no one else may be present, he is, she is present. However, the Child in us cannot feel whole without others.
How often might a caller ask a child answering the telephone,
"Is anyone there?"
"No," comes the reply.
Breaking Free ~ Kardener & Kardener