Compulsivity and peace of mind are mutually exclusive.
Many addictive behaviors stems from trying to cover up or run away from deep feelings of aloneness.
Rather than feel our aloneness we become focused on controlling getting, judging, defending,, and attacking, as way of looking away from our loneliness.
Our addictions slowly become the walls behind which we hide. Eventually our walls become too high that instead of simply hiding we become prisoners of our own making.
The guards in the prison of addiction are our egos, while the bars of our cells are gorged with our irrational beliefs. We sit upon cold gray cement in our dark and isolated cells, thinking that there is no escape.
In order to become free of our addictions we must first identify the irrational beliefs that keep us stuck where we are.
Irrational beliefs and the addicted mind:
Highlighted are the beliefs of love based thinking:
1. My self esteem is dependent upon my being approved of by everybody on this planet.
My self -esteem is not based upon pleasing others.
2. If I am to consider myself worthwhile, I must excel, achieve, win, and display glowing competence at all times, in all places, and at all costs.
I am complete, full of love, and worthwhile this very instant.
3. All things that go wrong in my life are cause by other people. These people need to be blamed and punished.
Healing my life begin in my own mind.
4. If external situations in my life are not exactly how I want them to be, I must feel tense, worry endlessly, and expect a disaster to occur within seconds.
If I desire change I must first look to my mind.
5. If something negative happened in the past, I should be very concerned about it repeating itself in the future. It will help if I keep dwelling on the possibility of it occurring.
The past is the past. The future is the future. The present is present.
6. If I avoid painful issues and stuff down my emotions, I will be safe and happy.
Opening my heart to love makes my life full and happy.
7. I am weak and need to be dependent on somebody or something else.
Through sharing who I am with others, I come to know who I am. I lack nothing to begin this today.
8. I should be very involved in, and upset about, other people's problems.
Fixing you will not fix me.
9. There is one right way to view the world.
Love and forgiveness will show me the way to serenity.
10. I am limited in what I can do and happiness that I can experience.
I am limitless.
Lee Jampolsky - Healing the Addictive Mind