This behavior is particularly common when someone's in a crisis and feels threatened.
Gossip unfairly gives us power over others.
Left-handed compliments designed to make someone doubt himself or herself and feel weak,
or carefully constructed insults designed to humiliate another person while preventing him from recognizing that he is being ridiculed publicly,
are common weapons in the arsenal of one who doesn't exercise wise speech.
Wise speech, a wholesome response to changes that are out of your control, requires mindful attention to the power of your words and messages underneath them.
Recognize that your tone of voice, facial expression, and body language matter,
and drop any defensiveness that arises in you when someone points out the discrepancy between the literal meaning of your words and
the message you are sending with your eyes, crossed arms, or disrespectful tone.
Wise speech has nothing to do with how cleverly we can use words to hurt or intimidate others and establish power.
It requires speaking with honesty and respect for the listener and ourselves, and trusting that a wholesome interaction will lead to a positive outcome.
Direct, honest communication can be very uncomfortable and even painful,
especially if you are not used to engaging in it, but wise speech is vital if you want to have
more productive, more respectful conversations.
When we cultivate wise speech, we do not fear saying something wrong.
However, we are more attuned to the quality of our words and their effect on others.
To speak the truth respectfully and be heard, one must let go of your desire to pressure others into doing what you want.
At some point, you may discern that no matter how often you say the same thing with kindness, honesty and compassion, you will never affect the other person the way you would like.
Part of wise speech is letting go of your attachment
to having your words change the way others think, feel, or behave.
Pause. Think. Speak with honesty and respect.
Wise Mind Open Mind ~ Alexander