To grow, to achieve autonomy, and develop mature dependence,
we must dare to be vulnerable.
In Childhood we experienced vulnerability as being synonymous with helplessness, thereby emotionally welding together these two very different phenomena.
Helplessness and Vulnerability.
When we realize that this perceived equivalency no longer holds true, change becomes possible. Philosophically, it is conceivable that an Adult can be profoundly vulnerable and yet never helpless.
The difference is straightforward. A Child has no options; an Adult always has options.
For an Adult, choice helps to make the crucial distinction between functionally emotionally as an Adult and functioning as a Child.
For example, imagine you choose to fly across the country in a commercial airplane in spite of a known, though improbable, chance of danger. At 35,000 feet, the pilot announces trouble, and the plane is clearly going to crash. Powerful emotions naturally rush forward and precipitate a regressive pull to the past. You feel trapped and helpless---the experience of the Child.
But you are also potentially aware that as an Adult you had made a reasonable choice in taking the flight. With that choice you recognized the possibility of some inherent risk, though there was little probability that an accident would occur since flying enables the safest form of travel. Death may not be imminent and inevitable.
The only question is how you will choose to die.
Will it be as an Adult or a Child?
Not meaning to sound ridiculous in using such an extreme illustration, however consider the importance of this example.
It is the singular sense of choice that allows us to be vulnerable yet never trapped, hopeless or helpless, even when circumstances occur that may reign such feelings from Childhood. There is a world of difference between Childhood and Adulthood.
Remember, the power of choice.
Kardener & Kardner ~ Breaking Free
we must dare to be vulnerable.
In Childhood we experienced vulnerability as being synonymous with helplessness, thereby emotionally welding together these two very different phenomena.
Helplessness and Vulnerability.
When we realize that this perceived equivalency no longer holds true, change becomes possible. Philosophically, it is conceivable that an Adult can be profoundly vulnerable and yet never helpless.
The difference is straightforward. A Child has no options; an Adult always has options.
For an Adult, choice helps to make the crucial distinction between functionally emotionally as an Adult and functioning as a Child.
For example, imagine you choose to fly across the country in a commercial airplane in spite of a known, though improbable, chance of danger. At 35,000 feet, the pilot announces trouble, and the plane is clearly going to crash. Powerful emotions naturally rush forward and precipitate a regressive pull to the past. You feel trapped and helpless---the experience of the Child.
But you are also potentially aware that as an Adult you had made a reasonable choice in taking the flight. With that choice you recognized the possibility of some inherent risk, though there was little probability that an accident would occur since flying enables the safest form of travel. Death may not be imminent and inevitable.
The only question is how you will choose to die.
Will it be as an Adult or a Child?
Not meaning to sound ridiculous in using such an extreme illustration, however consider the importance of this example.
It is the singular sense of choice that allows us to be vulnerable yet never trapped, hopeless or helpless, even when circumstances occur that may reign such feelings from Childhood. There is a world of difference between Childhood and Adulthood.
Remember, the power of choice.
Kardener & Kardner ~ Breaking Free
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