Jo Ellen Fletcher, M.A., LMFT
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Being Real, Courage is Contagious

3/17/2015

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Sometimes choosing to be real over choosing to be liked is all about being unsafe. 
It means stepping out of our comfort zone.

Men and women struggle with their opinions, feelings, and beliefs conflict with our culture's gender expectations.  Research on attributes that we associate with "being feminine" tells us that some of the most important qualities for women are thin, nice, and modest. 
That means if women want to play it totally safe, we have to be willing to stay as small, quiet, and attractive as possible.

When looking at attributes associated with masculinity, the researchers found these as important attributes for men, emotional control, primacy of work, control over women, and pursuit of status earning, and give up on meaningful connection.

Authenticity isn't always about the safe option. 

Sometimes choosing being real over being liked is not about playing it unsafe. 
It means stepping out of our comfort zone. 

It is easy to attack and criticize someone while he or she is risk taking---voicing an unpopular opinion or sharing a new creation with the world or trying something new that he or she has not quite mastered. 

There is a problem when we do not care at all what people think
and we are immune to hurt, we are also immune to connecting. 

Courage is telling our story, not being immune to criticism. 
Staying vulnerable is a risk we have to take if we want to experience connection.

Caution:  If you trade in your authenticity for safety, you may experience the following: anxiety, depression, eating disorders, addiction, rage, blame, resentment, and inexplicable grief.

Brene Brown - Gifts of Imperfection

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    Author:
    Jo Ellen Fletcher, M.A.
    Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist


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