Jo Ellen Fletcher, M.A., LMFT
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Building Block of Love

6/20/2014

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At the very beginning of love there is infatuation and obsession. 

We tend to think that this is strictly the result of sexual desire.  But right from the beginning, there is also emotional yearning. 

Indeed, passion is best defined as a combination of sexual connections and attachment longing.

A budding relationship is fraught with tension and anxiety.  We whisper to ourselves, "Does this person want me?  Am I going to be rejected?"

The longing and apprehension push us to take risks, to reach out and move closer. 

Our anxiety is soothed as we get positive responses from this person, and gradually he or she becomes what researcher John Bowlby called "irreplaceable." 

The process of feeling anxious and vulnerable and find that another can and will respond is the basic building block of love.


From, Love Sense ~ Sue Johnson

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    Author:
    Jo Ellen Fletcher, M.A.
    Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist


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