Jo Ellen Fletcher, M.A., LMFT
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Completion is an Important Part of Loving Yourself

1/2/2015

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When you are not complete with the past you drag it around with you wherever you go, using it as a reference point for who you are, for what you think, for what you believe, and for the choices you make.

Unknowingly, you dip into your past experiences which are usually telling you what you can or cannot do.  Instead of standing in the present moment and looking to a future that you are thrilled and excited about, you sit there and listen to the same conversations whirling around in your mind. 

So, knowing this, how could you expect your future to be much different from your past when you are actually going to the past
(without even realizing it) to decide who you are what you are capable of?
 

In these defining moments--when you need all your courage, strength, and the highest vision of who you are---you bring your limitations from the past into the present and then project them into the future.


For example, you decide to finally speak your truth to a friend who is always sapping your energy.  The first thing you might think is "I have said this before.  I have tried to say it.  I will hurt her feelings.  It is not a nice thinking to do.  Just keep your mouth shut.  you will be better off."

And then, like a coward, you give your power away.  You do not say the thing you know you need to say, thinking it is safer that way, since that is what you learned in the past. 


You project the feelings of the self that you were in the past onto this moment and make your decision from there, which then, of course, affects your future, your self-esteem, and your confidence. 

The ripple effect is set in motion.  you allow your fearful self to make your choices instead of having the courage and confidence to make a new, fresh choices based on who you are today and who you want to be in the future. 
The course of action is predictable when you are incomplete with your past.

Completion is an important part of loving yourself.
 
Completion is so exciting because you are literally making a choice to leave your past behind. 
You are drawing a line in the sand.

Just remember a moment when you had finished a difficult project or achieved a milestone that you worked on for a long time--a time when you were bursting with excitement, enthusiasm, and pride. 
In these holy moments, you are loving yourself, and looking through the eyes of your loving heart.  You have forgotten about the past, and you are not focusing on the future.
 

You are in the moment, standing in pure acknowledgement and filled with awe.

When you are complete, you repeatedly discover a moment of pure perfection--
the present moment. 


This is where you will find your courageous self and be sourced by your courage and confidence rather than held hostage to your past and fear.

Mahatma Gandhi said, "The only devils in the world are those running around in our hearts. That is where the battle should be fought."



Debbie Ford ~ Courage




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    Author:
    Jo Ellen Fletcher, M.A.
    Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist


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