1. Ask for help - Reach out to someone safe. 2. Inspire yourself. Carry something positive with you, such as a poem. 3. Leave where you are uncomfortable. When things feel bad, leave. 4. Persistence. Never, never, never, never, never, never, never give up. 5. Honesty. Secrets and lying are at the core of low self esteem. Honesty heals the self. 6. Cry - Let yourself cry, it will not last forever. 7. Choose self respect. Choose whatever will make you like yourself tomorrow. 8. Take good care of your body. Eat right, exercise, sleep, safe sex. 9. List your options. In any situation, you have choices. 10. Create meaning with what you have. Remind yourself what you are living for, your children? Love? Truth? Justice? God? 11. Do the best you can with what you have. Make the most of any available opportunities. 12. Set a boundary. No matter what, say "no" to protect yourself. 13. Compassion - Listen to yourself with respect and care. 14. When in doubt, do what is hardest. The most difficult path invariably is the right one. 15. Talk yourself through it. Positive self talk helps in difficult times. 16. Imagine. Create a mental picture that helps you feel different (remember your safe place). 16. Notice the choice point. In slow motion, notice the exact moment when you choose an addiction. 17. Pace yourself. If overwhelmed, go slower, if stagnant, go faster. 18. Stay safe. Do whatever you need to do to put your safety above all. 19. Seek understanding, not blame. Listen to your behavior; blaming prevents growth. 20. If one way does not work, try another. As if in a maze, turn a corner and try a new path. 21. Alone is better than a bad relationship. If safe for now is alone, that is ok. 22. Create a new story. You are the author of your life. Be the hero who overcomes adversity. 23. Avoid avoidable suffering. Prevent bad situations in advance. 24. Ask others. Ask other if your belief is accurate. 25. Get organized. You will feel more in control with lists, "to do's" and a clean house. 26. Watch for danger signs. Face a problem before it becomes huge; notice red flags. 29. Healing above all. Focus on what matters. 30. Try something, anything. A good plan today is better than a perfect one tomorrow. 31. Discovery. Find out whether your assumption is true rather than staying "in your head." 32. Attend therapy, support groups, meditations. Anything that keeps you going. 33. Create a buffer. Put something between you and danger. (time, distance). 34. Say what you really think. You will feel closer to others (only do this with safe people). 35. Listen to your needs. No more neglecting yourself. Hear what you really need. 36. Move toward your opposite. If you are too dependent, try being more independent. 37. Replay the scene. Review a negative event, what can you do differently? 38. Notice the cost. What is the price of addiction in your life? 39. Structure your day. A productive schedule keeps you on track and connected to the world. 40. Set an action plan. Be specific, set a deadline, and let others know about it. 41. Protect yourself. Put up a shield against destructive people, bad environments. 42. Soothing talk. Talk to yourself very gently (as if to a friend or small child).
Seeking Safety - Najavits
Seeking Safety - Najavits
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