Jo Ellen Fletcher, M.A., LMFT
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Defenses Bring Which They Were Meant to Guard Against.

3/16/2017

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Through practicing "no resistance" we recognize and become sensitive to the intimate connectedness of all of life.

When we become aware of the subtle aspects of energy we can learn to yield rather than force. 
Force met with force creates very few choices. 

We simply lower our heads and plow through life. 
This approach to life leads inevitable to our becoming injured. 
Each time we become wounded our feelings of being unsafe increase.  In turn, we build larger defenses. 
Contrary to the ego's thinking, defenses always bring which they were meant to guard against.
Thus, when we meet force with force the following happens.

Becoming wounded = building defenses = becoming wounded = building defenses.

To create more options and choices in life, learn the art of No Resistance.  Once you yield to aggressive energy, then you may redirect that energy.  You then have the ability to truly direct the exchange to a positive outcome. 

In Hakko-Ryu and Seibukan Jujutsu there is a practice referred to as "henka." 
In henka, we are utilizing our intuition, or "dan" instead of our intellect.  The intellect always pauses to asses and analyze the situation.  though the intellect has its place, responding to energy coming our way is not one of them. 
The intellect tends to respond in rigid, preconditioned ways. 

Intuition responds in fluid and creative ways through trusting our response to energy.  Thinking and analyzing are absent.  The result is a "dance" in which force is never meeting force.

This practice of henka helps to overcome resistance.  It takes us beyond the intellect and opens up our intuition.  If you truly allow intuition to respond, there will be no resistance. 

To the degree that we do not trust our intuition is to the degree that we meet force with force.

"Fear creates a lack of trust in ourselves, others, and the universe."  At a certain point in my own therapy I was forced to see the effects of this fear. 

I had been dealing with the same issues, in the same intellectual place, for what seemed like years.  I was trying to resolve issues with my parents.  I wanted to sort out my feelings about them and my feelings about myself.  The problem was that I wasn't feeling anything.  I could talk endlessly "about" things, but I had great resistance to feeling. 

Then one day, with out any forethought, I trusted myself and my therapist enough to step aside and yield energy of my feelings.  I laid back and began to cry.  The sounds that began to leave my body were ones that I had never heard before.  They came from deep within, from the center of my being.  Sounds of pain filled the room, my whole universe.  Time changed dimensions.  I could have been there for a day or a minute; I wasn't sure.  All of my hidden pain began to pour out in every sound.  Tears finally found their way out of me in a genuine way.

As long as I was afraid of my pain I kept it hidden.  It weighted me down in everything that I did.  In my day-to-day activities, I was unaware of the energy I expended in order to keep my pain repressed.  It was a process that drained me of vitality.  Moving through my resistance opened up choices for me.  Once I began to experience the pain I could then work through it.  Forgiveness was then fully open to me. 

The love that had always been available to me "filled my heart."



The Art of Trust ~ Lee Jampolsky


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    Jo Ellen Fletcher, M.A.
    Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist


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