Jo Ellen Fletcher, M.A., LMFT
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Emotional Freedom ~ Taking Responsibility

1/4/2015

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Emotional freedom is the doorway to our dreams.
Emotional freedom means embracing responsibility and accountability.
To allow ourselves to move through our experiences instead of staying stuck in them.

Emotional freedom becomes ours as we embrace responsibility and we are given the gift of clear sight and are able to see how much we have grown and evolved from the experiences we have lived through.


The gift of taking responsibility for our journey through life allows us the kind of emotional freedom that cannot be gotten anywhere else.
  We are able to see and claim for ourselves the immense inner strength always available for to us.

So why is it that so many of us hold on to experiences from our past, refusing to let them go?  Is it because we do not now how to let go and move on?  Or could it be that our familiar emotional wounds are part of our story, our human drama, and we somehow feel more like ourselves when we are holding on to them?

To experience emotional freedom we must be willing to take responsibility for what we are holding on to, which is usually a hurt or pain from the past that leaves us feeling victimized. 


Holding back from taking full responsibility is common to all of us.  Our wounded human ego wants to pin the blame on someone else--anyone else!!  Being a victim allows us to point our fingers and justify the condition of our lives. 
It gives us a way to explain why we do not have the strength or the courage we need to make changes.

Blame is a clever trickster.
  At its root, blame is a form of fear that helps us avoid accountability for our lives.  We can be assured that every time we are blaming we are casting ourselves in the role of the victim and somebody else in the role of the victim-izer.  The underbelly of the victim mentality is that it winds up victimizing us as well. 

When we point our finger at someone else and say, "They lied to me" or "They cheated on me" or "They betrayed me," there is an accompanying internal dialogue that goes along with it. "How could I have let that happen?" Or "I should have stopped it."  Or "I had the impulse to stay away and did not!" 

In this framework of blame, there is plenty of condemnation to go around.  The pain and resentment that builds over time from the experiences we feel victimized by prevent us from being able to digest and let go of our old emotional baggage.  Instead, we stay stuck in the grip of fear.

The good news is that something magical happens when we own and embrace something we have avoided taking responsibility for in the past.
 
In taking responsibility of your part and stepping out of blame and victimization and beginning to heal our inner world, we are able to ensure that we do not unconsciously attract the same kinds of people, circumstances and events that previously left us feeling victimized.

With courage as our compass, not only do we take responsibility for our lives in the present, but we take responsibility for our futures as well.



From the book, "Courage" by Debbie Ford

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    Author:
    Jo Ellen Fletcher, M.A.
    Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist


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