1. Take time to listen to each other daily.
One study indicates that the average person spends only nine minutes a day face to face, eye to eye in conversation. It is necessary to relate directly and not over the noise of a tv, radio or from room to room.
2. Stick with one issue until resolved, and then be done with it.
Rehashing the same issues lessens trust and creates new problems. Each time the same issue is brought up, it adds to the feelings around the non-resolution. Its often old issues and not new problems that destroy trust and love.
3. Get to the feelings behind the issues.
Issues are power struggles. Discussing in-laws, money, sex, and children there are most often two sides, and the arguments become revolving about debates. Feelings are real and tend to aid understanding. With understanding there can be behaviors change and forgiveness. Ultimately with behavior change healing begins.
4. Break the no talk rule.
If something is bothersome, talk about it.
It is dishonest to give hints, play games or expect the other to be a mind reader.
5. Set boundaries with children, relatives and friends.
Be very clear about how much of your partnership and business you choose to share with them and ow much is none of their business.
The largest part of "couple-ship" business is private
and NO ONE else's business.
This is a serious yet frequent barrier to intimacy.
Often dysfunctional or chemically dependent families have little or no experience with healthy boundaries. Too much inappropriate sharing waters down the relationship between any two people. This lessens trust in many situations.
Sharon Cruse - Learning to Love Yourself.
One study indicates that the average person spends only nine minutes a day face to face, eye to eye in conversation. It is necessary to relate directly and not over the noise of a tv, radio or from room to room.
2. Stick with one issue until resolved, and then be done with it.
Rehashing the same issues lessens trust and creates new problems. Each time the same issue is brought up, it adds to the feelings around the non-resolution. Its often old issues and not new problems that destroy trust and love.
3. Get to the feelings behind the issues.
Issues are power struggles. Discussing in-laws, money, sex, and children there are most often two sides, and the arguments become revolving about debates. Feelings are real and tend to aid understanding. With understanding there can be behaviors change and forgiveness. Ultimately with behavior change healing begins.
4. Break the no talk rule.
If something is bothersome, talk about it.
It is dishonest to give hints, play games or expect the other to be a mind reader.
5. Set boundaries with children, relatives and friends.
Be very clear about how much of your partnership and business you choose to share with them and ow much is none of their business.
The largest part of "couple-ship" business is private
and NO ONE else's business.
This is a serious yet frequent barrier to intimacy.
Often dysfunctional or chemically dependent families have little or no experience with healthy boundaries. Too much inappropriate sharing waters down the relationship between any two people. This lessens trust in many situations.
Sharon Cruse - Learning to Love Yourself.
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