One answer lies in nonverbal communication.
It is the primary language of love.
When we find a person alluring,
the attraction, per se, is not the problem.
The attraction is a delightful feeling,
powerfully reinforced by chemicals, especially dopamine.
Falling in love at first sight often sets the stage
for an old play's rerun.
It surprises most people in love that they must work
more diligently
at resolving the old in order to have the new.
This is unlike people whose relationships develop gradually.
The gradually developing partnerships
may grow more lovingly intimate over time.
This growth happens because the pair
are starting out at a neutral point.
And, think about this.
If the Child within us can find a partner whose
"Need" system corresponds to ours,
then the Child never has to "leave home."
If we never have to leave home, we never have to break free and
we confront zero.
The old song lyric,
"Some Enchanted Evening, you will see a stranger,
across a crowded room,
and suddenly you will know."
This song reflects the power
of this non-verbal communication.
However, the the song lyric,
"I need a girl/guy just like the girl/guy
that married dear old mom/dad."
This lyric is far better to characterize the "stranger."
That is, that stranger from across the room,
is probably like dear old dad or mom.
Funny how we tend to marry who raised us.
It is the primary language of love.
When we find a person alluring,
the attraction, per se, is not the problem.
The attraction is a delightful feeling,
powerfully reinforced by chemicals, especially dopamine.
Falling in love at first sight often sets the stage
for an old play's rerun.
It surprises most people in love that they must work
more diligently
at resolving the old in order to have the new.
This is unlike people whose relationships develop gradually.
The gradually developing partnerships
may grow more lovingly intimate over time.
This growth happens because the pair
are starting out at a neutral point.
And, think about this.
If the Child within us can find a partner whose
"Need" system corresponds to ours,
then the Child never has to "leave home."
If we never have to leave home, we never have to break free and
we confront zero.
The old song lyric,
"Some Enchanted Evening, you will see a stranger,
across a crowded room,
and suddenly you will know."
This song reflects the power
of this non-verbal communication.
However, the the song lyric,
"I need a girl/guy just like the girl/guy
that married dear old mom/dad."
This lyric is far better to characterize the "stranger."
That is, that stranger from across the room,
is probably like dear old dad or mom.
Funny how we tend to marry who raised us.
RSS Feed
