Jo Ellen Fletcher, M.A., LMFT
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I Didn't Know I Held So Much Goodness

6/1/2014

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I am larger, better than I thought,
I did not know I held so much goodness.


Walt Whitman

Internalize the positive.  Turn positive facts into positive experiences.  Good things keep happening all around us, but much of the time we don't notice them; even when we do, we often hardly feel them.  Someone is nice to you, you see an admirable quality in yourself, a flower is blooming, you finish a difficult project--and it all just rolls by.

Instead, actively look for good news, particularly the little stuff of daily life; the faces of children, the smell of an orange, a memory from a happy vacation, a minor success at work and so on. 

Whatever positive facts you find, bring a mindful awareness to them--open up to them and let them affect you.  It's like sitting down to a banquet: don't just look at it--dig in!

  • Savor the experience. Make it last by staying with it for 5, 10, or 20 seconds, keep your attention on the positive experience.

  • Focus on your emotions and body sensations, since these are the essence of memory.  If someone is good to you, let the feeling of being cared for bring warmth to your whole chest.

  • Pay attention to the rewarding aspects of the experience, how good it feels to get a great big hug from someone you love. 

  • Focusing on these things increases dopamine release, which make it easier to keep giving the experience your attention and strengthens the neural associations in your memory.  

You are not doing this to cling to your rewards, (which would eventually make you suffer) but to internalize then so that you carry them inside of you and don't need to reach for them in the outer world.


Buddha's Brain - Rick Hanson
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    Author:
    Jo Ellen Fletcher, M.A.
    Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist


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