Jo Ellen Fletcher, M.A., LMFT
  • Home
  • Yelp! Reviews
  • About
  • Couples Therapy
  • Individual Therapy
  • Contact
  • Blog
  • Addiction
  • More
    • More Testimonials
    • Family
    • Resources and Related Links
    • Neurofeedback

I Hold Goodness

4/1/2015

0 Comments

 
Picture
I am larger, better than I thought,
I did not know I held so much goodness.

--Walt Whitman


Much as your body is built from the foods you eat, your mind is built from the experiences you have. 
The flow of experience gradually sculpts your brain, thus shaping your mind. 
Some of the results can be explicitly recalled:
This is what I did last summer; that is how I felt when I was in love. 
But most of the shaping of your mind remains forever unconscious.


This is call implicit memory, and it includes your expectations, models of relationships,
emotional tendencies, and general outlook. 
Implicit memory establishes the interior landscape of your mind--
what if feels like to be you--based on the slowly accumulating residues of lived experiences.

In a sense, those residues can be sorted into two piles:
those that benefit you and others,
and those that cause harm. 
But, here's the problem. 
Your brain referentially scans for, registers, stores, recalls,
and reacts to unpleasant experiences; it is like velcro for negative experiences
and teflon for positive experiences.


Consequently, even when positive experiences outnumber negative ones,
the pile of negative implicit memories naturally grows faster. 
Then the background feeling of what it feels like to be you can become  glum and pessimistic.

Negative experiences do have benefits:
loss opens the heart, remorse provides a moral compass, anxiety alerts you to threats, and anger spotlights wrongs that should be righted. 
But do you really think you re not having enough negative experiences? 
Emotional pain with no benefit to yourself or others is pointless suffering. 
And pain today breeds more pain tomorrow. 
For instance, even a single episode of
major depression can reshape circuits of the brain to make future episodes more likely.


The remedy is not to suppress negative experiences;
when they happen, they happen. 
Rather, it is to foster positive experiences--
and in particular, to take them in
so they become a permanent part of you.

Buddha's Brain - Hanson & Mendius
0 Comments



Leave a Reply.

    Author:
    Jo Ellen Fletcher, M.A.
    Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist


    Archives

    November 2021
    October 2021
    September 2021
    May 2021
    April 2021
    August 2020
    July 2020
    June 2020
    May 2020
    April 2020
    December 2019
    August 2019
    May 2019
    April 2019
    March 2019
    February 2019
    January 2019
    December 2018
    October 2018
    September 2018
    August 2018
    June 2018
    March 2018
    November 2017
    October 2017
    August 2017
    July 2017
    June 2017
    May 2017
    April 2017
    March 2017
    February 2017
    January 2017
    December 2016
    November 2016
    October 2016
    September 2016
    August 2016
    July 2016
    June 2016
    May 2016
    April 2016
    March 2016
    February 2016
    January 2016
    December 2015
    November 2015
    October 2015
    September 2015
    August 2015
    July 2015
    June 2015
    May 2015
    April 2015
    March 2015
    February 2015
    January 2015
    December 2014
    November 2014
    October 2014
    September 2014
    August 2014
    July 2014
    June 2014
    May 2014
    April 2014
    March 2014
    February 2014
    January 2014
    December 2013
    November 2013
    October 2013
    September 2013
    July 2013
    June 2013
    May 2013
    April 2013
    March 2013

    RSS Feed

    View my profile on LinkedIn
Powered by Create your own unique website with customizable templates.
Photos used under Creative Commons from James St. John, johnvoo_photographer, Graniers, liveoncelivewild, qnrshop, torbakhopper, JayCob L., sandklef, Sam_Catch, torbakhopper, Belzie, Tomas Sobek, Infomastern, flequi, seier+seier, Adrian Dreßler, wackybadger, Sound80Roma, Kurdishstruggle, Amourins, pit thompson, Lord Jim, mikecogh, forum.linvoyage.com, torbakhopper, mikecogh, Alice Barigelli, Irene Grassi (sun sand & sea), Ania i Artur Nowaccy, hyacinth50, Maxime Raphael, grilled cheese, theilr, paranamir, LotsaSmiles Photography, Seniju, hedera.baltica, joejukes, Kitty Terwolbeck, Z Carlos, Tambako the Jaguar, Barry B's Photography, villoks, mikecogh, kevin dooley, torbakhopper, Roudoudou Hirons, kellynphillong, Digikuvaaja, Philippe Put, avrene, brewbooks, mikecogh, Angelia's Photography, thethreesisters, Infomastern, mikebaird, Phil and Pam, Ashley Campbell Photography, mikecogh, CJS*64 A man with a camera, automobileitalia, Thomas Rousing Photography, Daniela Vladimirova, Hernan Piñera, mrsmorningsun, mattyeo, DrPhotoMoto, ECraig4, smallcurio, Rum Bucolic Ape, built4love.hain, Sir, Rony, Paul Schultz, forkcandles, VinothChandar, districtinroads, Daniel Sjöström, ingridkreuz, fabiane13, Jurastapark, erix!, tara marie, ** RCB **, missbutterflies, Denna Jones, Kyrre Gjerstad, .FuturePresent., Skley, LadyDragonflyCC - >;<, fofie57, torbakhopper, Parker Knight, Japanexperterna.se, °linda°!°, wht_wolf9653, DrPhotoMoto, oliver.kratzke, Su Bee Buzz!, Casey David, Iqbal Osman1, davidmulder61, TangOblivion, Kirt Edblom, Tambako the Jaguar, www.photosbyroberta.com, romanboed, Zemzina, UpSticksNGo, matthewcunnelly, Stuart Chalmers, Johan G, Prestonbot, blumenbiene, torbakhopper, Hitchster, Josep Ma. Rosell, Kurayba, frankieleon, pikawil100, torbakhopper, Sten Dueland, Sir, Rony, errase, erix!, JohnSeb, woodleywonderworks, Lisa Brewster, forum.linvoyage.com, aredmon48, Stewart Black, kevin dooley, KnockOut_Photographs, Lars Plougmann, Tela Chhe, tocausan, étoiles filantes, RobotSkirts, sprout_creative, Nina Matthews Photography, nadia nameless., Tribes of the World, donnierayjones, FJH Photography, Brainedge, torbakhopper, josh.greentree, Kjunstorm, KnockOut_Photographs, danigutib, Beverly & Pack, wackybadger, halfabear, foilman, jtstewart, Rob Gallop, Joel Müller, patrickmarcus, aellin, @sage_solar, Parker Knight, Nina Matthews Photography, Swami Stream, n_sapiens, VinothChandar, Sharon Mollerus, Rina V., cleide isabel, tsuru_g4, artist in doing nothing, AJC ajcann.wordpress.com, NIAID, pedrosimoes7, GollyGforce - Living My Worst Nightmare, Eric Van Buskirk, Infomastern, jfingas, davethebass, Anders Printz, AGraddyPhoto, Claudio Gennari ..."Cogli l'attimo ferma il tempo", leonyaakov, Free HDR & Photomanipulations - www.freestock.ca, Lara Cores, Schristia, ^@^ina (Irina Patrascu), Parker Knight, kevin dooley, Keoni Cabral, Nels_P_Olsen, Roger Blackwell, nathan_cef, RTD Photography, Astro witch, Steve A Johnson, Sir, Rony, RJJ245, Craig Loftus, martin 65, permanently scatterbrained, boellstiftung, seyed mostafa zamani, Mirra Photography, Pink Sherbet Photography, @RunRockPrincess, torbakhopper, Life of JennRene, EraPhernalia Vintage . . . (playin' hook-y ;o), CarbonNYC [in SF!], don r faulkner, stimpsonjake, Pannonius Rex, Paulo Brandão, jroblear, peasap, pedrosimoes7, steve p2008, Didriks, Ksionic, Ryan_M651, kalyan02, eflon, Khanelle Prod' Medias, francisco_osorio, kaibara87, Tanozzo, Leonard John Matthews, garwol4130, H o l l y., AK Rockefeller, Steven Pisano, amsfrank, jafsegal, freddie boy, HockeyholicAZ, James St. John, Parker Knight, kevin dooley, bortescristian, robynejay, Rutkowski Photography, Poetprince, Ani Carrington, torbakhopper, Swami Stream, caalo10, Sten Dueland, swong95765, af.fotografie, H o l l y., MarkMoz12, Cameron Ba✝hory, jvoves, oddmenout, All Kinds of New, !Koss, the Italian voice, black.mirror, Thomas Leuthard, Helga Weber, chang2034, kleinfreund, francisco_osorio, Forsaken Fotos, Philipe Photos, Crystalline Radical, Rennett Stowe, jasleen_kaur, Jamiecat *, H o l l y., VinothChandar, slyronit, simpleinsomnia, Toffee Maky, Carodean Road Designs, State Farm, World/In/My/Eyes, dj1471, ulisse albiati, Erik Charlton, donnierayjones, Spirit-Fire, See-ming Lee 李思明 SML, DoD News Features, quinn.anya, ilovememphis, christiankaff, Eric Kilby, felixp7, steviep187, llinddsayy, moonlightbulb, japanese_craft_construction, Monkey Mash Button, Yuri Yu. Samoilov, Oneras, Clearly Ambiguous, dolbinator1000, Purple Sherbet Photography, peno4, SashaW, tvdxer, F▲IL, Philippe Put, torbakhopper, Robert Agthe, CJS*64 A man with a camera, tiinal91, Ray Bouknight, Matiluba, jk+too, Tasos K., tnssofres, CJS*64, Martin Pulaski, marfis75, mikecogh, CityTree עץבעיר, potzuyoko, Ania i Artur Nowaccy, Orin Zebest, Spider.Dog, Synergy by Jasmine, bearepresa, Prestonbot, Photommo, jseliger2, Life of JennRene, Alaskan Dude, CJS*64, CJS*64, XYZ Wedding Photography, rawdonfox, Maik Meid, janeperezphoto, Laurel L. Russwurm, Trenten Kelley Photography, Cast a Line, TaMiMi Q8, Davide Restivo, Silentmind8, mikecogh, Aurelien G. Photographie, psyberartist, amateur photography by michel, baumrasen, scarlett.photo, fromthemitten, ierdnall, distelfliege, Nina Matthews Photography, hepp, televisione, Pixelteufel, amboo who?, CarbonNYC, JohnGoode, Simon & His Camera, Eliezer Borges, ricky_1146, juliejordanscott, Mizrak, Tjook, Ambernectar 13, torbakhopper, Esteban Parreno, garryknight, torbakhopper, Ania i Artur Nowaccy, Jeff Hudgins / Alabama, pcutler, Craig Hatfield, Ravages, akimela, olivierbxl, Bengt Nyman, mikecogh, Evoflash, Erin Stoodley, DanielKrieg.de, włodi, db Photography | Demi-Brooke, Linds :), nattu, jurvetson, KLGreenNYC, phalinn, gailhampshire, Maria Schaefer Photography, torbakhopper, gabepopa, josemanuelerre, Simson_Petrol, postman.pete, Photography by Brian Lauer, quinn.anya, Jo Naylor, matrianklw, donjd2, H.P. Brinkmann, junxdelux, ewan traveler, AndresRSaenz, Alyssa L. Miller, Bruce Guenter, timlewisnm, valhouser, GabPRR, .tafo., Dwilliams851, katerha, wbaiv, MDB Images, ketrin1407, qwrrty, Neal., liquene, chaps1, Neal., raymond_zoller, ellenm1, Rusty Clark - On the Air M-F 8am-noon, istolethetv, Pedro Rotta, UrbanDigger.com, takebackyourhealthconference, GU / 古天熱, hahnfamilywines, epSos.de, seeveeaar, Spojení, Isabel Cortés Úbeda, Beedie's Photos, QUOI Media, bastii., zayzayem, jordanmerrick, Kirsten Hartsoch, Keoni Cabral, keyofnight, Peter Werkman (www.peterwerkman.nl), Street Photography Addict, Blucoala, markus spiske, Ricymar Photography (Thanks to all the fans!!!!), moonjazz, MsSaraKelly, namuit, joannapoe, Zabowski