Jo Ellen Fletcher, M.A., LMFT
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Self Esteem and Self Acceptance

6/3/2015

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Self acceptance is critical to self esteem.
The level of self acceptance determines one's level of happiness.

Self esteem is about
self compassion and positive feelings about yourself,
defining one's needs and wants and meeting them,
and treating ourselves well

Self acceptance comes before self esteem.

To accept all parts of us regardless of whether they are not perfect.
That is unconditional self love.
As children we can accept ourselves only as far as our parents did.
If they did not communicate that unconditional acceptance to us,
we partake in self criticism

and conditional love.

Self criticism is the heart of most problems. 

From our parents we sought approval and if we received partial approval,
we demonstrate approval seeking behaviors towards others. 
External validation rather than internal (or self) validation
leaves us powerless over our happiness. 


Our sense of self thus is determined by others feedback and approval.

Taking away the critical parent that sits on our shoulder,
and understanding our own power to love ourselves,
obtaining self compassion
and understanding our humanness,
equals self acceptance and self esteem.

You are good enough, just as you are.

Do something you have been putting off.

Treat yourself well.


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    Author:
    Jo Ellen Fletcher, M.A.
    Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist


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