Happiness in marriage takes courage, flexibility, and faith.
We often think it's easier to be happy than unhappy, but if that is the case--given our tendency to take the easy way out--don't think more people would be doing it?
Happiness does not fill the void when you finally remove your hang-ups and resolve your disagreements.
That's only half the process. you still have to hold onto yourself. You have to maintain yourself through life's tragedies and not internalize them.
A wonderful marriage doesn't make life easy or painless. It just makes the work sweeter and the pain more meaningful.
The biggest trust issue in marriage isn't about trusting your partner, it is about whether or not you can trust yourself. The better your partner, the better your ability to soothe and console yourself needs to be.
It's not safe to love your partner more than you can self soothe, especially if you always need him or her to "be there for you." Your partner won't be there to hold your hand and comfort you through his or her death. you'll go through that alone. The increasing vulnerability that arises from your partner becoming more important to you makes a passionate marriage daunting. Many of us know we can't trust ourselves with this enormous risk.
Loving is not for the weak, nor for those who have to be carefully kept, nor for the faint of heart. That is why there is so little of it in the world. Love requires being steadfast through many difficulties. Nobody is ready for marriage, being married makes you ready for marriage.
Passionate Marriage
Schnarch
We often think it's easier to be happy than unhappy, but if that is the case--given our tendency to take the easy way out--don't think more people would be doing it?
Happiness does not fill the void when you finally remove your hang-ups and resolve your disagreements.
That's only half the process. you still have to hold onto yourself. You have to maintain yourself through life's tragedies and not internalize them.
A wonderful marriage doesn't make life easy or painless. It just makes the work sweeter and the pain more meaningful.
The biggest trust issue in marriage isn't about trusting your partner, it is about whether or not you can trust yourself. The better your partner, the better your ability to soothe and console yourself needs to be.
It's not safe to love your partner more than you can self soothe, especially if you always need him or her to "be there for you." Your partner won't be there to hold your hand and comfort you through his or her death. you'll go through that alone. The increasing vulnerability that arises from your partner becoming more important to you makes a passionate marriage daunting. Many of us know we can't trust ourselves with this enormous risk.
Loving is not for the weak, nor for those who have to be carefully kept, nor for the faint of heart. That is why there is so little of it in the world. Love requires being steadfast through many difficulties. Nobody is ready for marriage, being married makes you ready for marriage.
Passionate Marriage
Schnarch
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