One of the best ways I know to battle shame resilience
is cultivating a safety net that supports me
when I am feeling attacked or hurt.
I have learned to pause, and pay attention to feedback from people who are like me, willing to risk and be vulnerable and find their voice for what they believe.
If you are occasionally getting your butt kicked as you respond and if you are also figuring out how to stay open to feedback without getting pummeled by insults, I am more likely to pay attention to your thought about my work.
On the other hand, you are not helping, contributing, or wrestling with your own gremlins,
I am not at all interested in your commentary.
The second strategy is also simple.
I carry a small piece of paper in my wallet that has written on it the names of people whose opinions of me matter.
To be on the list, you have to have to love me for my strengths and struggles.
You have to know that I am trying to be wholehearted,
but I still cuss too much, flip people off under the steering wheel and have both Lawrence Welk and Metallica on my iPod.
You have to know and respect that I am totally uncool.
There is a great quote from the movie, 'Almost Famous' that says,
"The only true currency in this bankrupt world
is what you share with someone else when you are uncool."
is cultivating a safety net that supports me
when I am feeling attacked or hurt.
I have learned to pause, and pay attention to feedback from people who are like me, willing to risk and be vulnerable and find their voice for what they believe.
If you are occasionally getting your butt kicked as you respond and if you are also figuring out how to stay open to feedback without getting pummeled by insults, I am more likely to pay attention to your thought about my work.
On the other hand, you are not helping, contributing, or wrestling with your own gremlins,
I am not at all interested in your commentary.
The second strategy is also simple.
I carry a small piece of paper in my wallet that has written on it the names of people whose opinions of me matter.
To be on the list, you have to have to love me for my strengths and struggles.
You have to know that I am trying to be wholehearted,
but I still cuss too much, flip people off under the steering wheel and have both Lawrence Welk and Metallica on my iPod.
You have to know and respect that I am totally uncool.
There is a great quote from the movie, 'Almost Famous' that says,
"The only true currency in this bankrupt world
is what you share with someone else when you are uncool."
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