When we become defensive we have accepted a fear-based reality that tells us we are in constant danger. If we do not question the foundation that our defensiveness and what fear rests on, we will not find peace of mind.
In fact, we will continue to build elaborate
defenses believing this will create a safe existence.
beyond defensiveness, we need
that love is our natural inheritance and
the truth about who we are.
We abandon ourselves when we remain hidden under layers of guilt, judgment, and shame. Once hidden, we can choose to believe that love has disappeared and that guilt and shame are who we are.
They are not.
human being wants is to experience
and union with
Beyond all other goals and achievements we may have, and regardless if we are fully aware of it or not, this yearning is in our hearts and minds when we arrive into this world and when we depart from it.
You may look around you and see a world that demands defenses for survival.
However, there is another way of looking at the world.
Recall that regardless of what their behavior my be,
what people are really asking for is love.
So, despite all that we say and do, there are only two forms of communication:
*Making a call for love.
Unfortunately most calls for love rarely look like what they are. More typically, when someone acts in anger, with dishonesty, or goes on the attack, the thought,
"this person is making a call for love, let me respond to this" is usually not the first thought to cross your mind. Yet, I suggest that each and every time, such displays of bad temper or behavior are, at their core, a call for love and understanding.
When we learn to stop responding defensively to others and begin to be able to find what was really needed: a spiritual focus with practical changes.
* Stop denying problems and pain.
*Rather than avoiding uncomfortable situations, be honest and open to finding healing solutions.
*Rather than blaming negative behavior, model positive behavior.
*Acknowledge anger, but relase it through forgiveness.
*Give up being a victim and see the power to change within you.
One force that heals suffering is to begin living in gratitude.
Walking Through Walls ~ Jampolsky