Jo Ellen Fletcher, M.A., LMFT
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On Being Positive...

5/25/2016

2 Comments

 
Picture
Life is easy with a positive attitude, wouldn’t you agree? Well, easier at least.
One of my favorite sites, The Ririan Project, has a list of ways to perk up that disposition, if you need to.

I’ve always been amazed by some people who insist on being in the negative.

You can change that,
and it’s the first step to stepping in a more successful life.


1. Appreciate as much as you can. This is one of those very simple things you can do to bring a more positive outlook to your life. I have also found appreciation to be a great way to turn an angry, sad and frustrated mood around to a more positive one.

2. Stop comparing yourself to others. If you don´t then you´ll just create a lot of unnecessary pain in your life. If you pass one person then you´ll just find another person more successful than you. And your brief sense of being a winner will transform once again into anxiety, fear, tummy-aches and possibly heart-attacks.

3. Realize that it is possible to choose how you react. You don´t have live your life in reaction. You have a choice. There is always a gap between stimuli and reaction. If you focus on that gap it will widen and although it might seem in the beginning like stimuli and your reaction are tied together that is not the case.

4. Educate yourself. Self-education can be a great help to live a more positive life. Read great books on the areas of your life you want to improve. Maybe it’s it your financial situation. Or your health. Or your relationships. Ask people with more success in that area than you what they did to improve.

5. Act as if. Your emotions work backwards too. So even if you don´t feel positive, confident, calm or decisive you can act like it. And after you have done that for a few minutes, guess what happens? You will actually start to feel positive, confident, calm or decisive.

6. Live in the now. Don´t let your thoughts drift into the past or future more than necessary. It’s often a sure-fire way to start negative loops of thoughts in your mind.

7. Do some mental rehearsal. This is great way to improve your performance and decrease anxiety in any upcoming situation. Maybe you´re heading into a meeting soon. Then visualize now how great the events will unfold – see and hear it – and also how great will you feel at this meeting.

8. Redefine failure. Michael Jordan once said: “I’ve missed more than 9000 shots in my career. I’ve lost almost 300 games. 26 times, I’ve been trusted to take the game winning shot and missed. I’ve failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed.”

9. Focus on what you want,
not on what you don't want.

One common problem is to focus your thoughts on what you don´t want rather than what you want. If you do that then it will be hard to get what you want in life.





2 Comments
Otto Hull link
12/5/2018 04:34:22 am

It is difficult to stay positive in thoughts and actions. This difficulty level increases, when you feel unsatisfied. As darkness is the most familiar state of mind, so every individual prefers to stay negative. But remember one thing, you can't grow, when negativity becomes a daily habit. Thus, you must learn how to be positive. It's a benchmark that you can reach with some perseverance and training. Your mind reframes your actuality. Better you keep your focus on what you want so that you can visualize and accomplish your aspirations.

Reply
Jo
12/5/2018 08:08:24 am

Thank you for your comments Otto. I appreciate how you focus on your goals and dreams as it helps you remain positive. Yes, we all can focus on what is positive when negative thoughts arise. Such thinking is more of a balance of thought as in putting thoughts in a scale. I do know that our feelings are connected to thought and that with every positive thought comes a more positive feeling. I respectfully disagree that every individual prefers to stay negative. I am not quite sure either that negativeity is the most familiar state of mind. Often depression is a consequence of negative thinking. I believe your comments are very helpful and I agree with you that we can train our brains to be positive and in balance. We are human and can look more towards joy however life happens to us all and it is in how we approach the difficult times and how we live our everyday lives. We have a choice.

Reply



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    Author:
    Jo Ellen Fletcher, M.A.
    Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist


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