True intimacy is costly, as are most items of value. The development of a relationship will cost one's innocence, one's games, one's illusions, and one's certainty.
Intimacy is a by-product of close connections. It is to share pleasure and pain in the safety of trust and commitment, and then to choose experiences, surrounding, friendships and behavior that will enhance the connection to one's self, a partner, and a higher power or spirituality.
Characteristics of Intimates
1. Intimates fight, laugh, share ideas, plan and fill the relationship with high energy.
2. Intimates share authority in relationships.
They take turns and know times when to be the leader.
3. Intimates accept and appreciate change.
They know that change and reality are closely linked and little remain the same.
4. Intimates can be counted on for consistent behavior.
5. Intimates have enough self worth to know they deserve closeness, care and attention and they do not have to play games for attention.
6. Intimates develop their sense of humor.
7. Intimates learn to ask for what they want and what they need.
8. Intimates become "like children" with each other without embarrassment.
They remember not to waste a day or a night without some appreciation for the other.
Intimacy is a peak experience.
Sharon Cruse - Learning to Love Yourself