Jo Ellen Fletcher, M.A., LMFT
  • Home
  • Yelp! Reviews
  • About
  • Couples Therapy
  • Individual Therapy
  • Contact
  • Blog
  • Addiction
  • More
    • More Testimonials
    • Family
    • Resources and Related Links
    • Neurofeedback

Putting down the mask

5/17/2014

0 Comments

 
Picture
As children we found ways to protect ourselves from vulnerability, from being hurt, diminished, and disappointed.  We put on armor; we used our thoughts, emotions, and behaviors as weapons; and we learned how to make ourselves scarce, even to disappear. 

Now as adults we realize that it is to live with courage, purpose, and connection--to be the person whom we long to be--we must again be vulnerable.  We must take off the armor, put down the weapons, show up and let ourselves be seen.

The word persona is the Greek term for "stage mask".  In my work masks and armor are perfect metaphors for how we protect ourselves from the discomfort of vulnerability.  Masks make us feel safer even when they become suffocating. 

Armor makes us feel stronger even when we grow weary from dragging the extra weight around.  The irony is that when we're standing across from someone who is hidden or shielded by masks and armor, we feel frustrated and disconnected. 

That's the paradox here:  Vulnerability is the last think I want you to see in me, but the first thing I look for in you.

How did we start these defense mechanisms?  What does it take to put the armor away?  As you peek at your amory, sometimes you are able to get a glimpse of yourself to put down the defenses and try on vulnerability.  How do we protect ourselves? When and how did we start using these defense mechanisms?  What would it take to make us put the armor away?

Perhaps taking a look at "enough" and the notion of embracing worthiness, boundaries and engagement.  That is, showing up, taking risks, and letting myself be seen as enough.


Brene Brown - From the book, Daring Greatly.

0 Comments



Leave a Reply.

    Author:
    Jo Ellen Fletcher, M.A.
    Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist


    Archives

    November 2021
    October 2021
    September 2021
    May 2021
    April 2021
    August 2020
    July 2020
    June 2020
    May 2020
    April 2020
    December 2019
    August 2019
    May 2019
    April 2019
    March 2019
    February 2019
    January 2019
    December 2018
    October 2018
    September 2018
    August 2018
    June 2018
    March 2018
    November 2017
    October 2017
    August 2017
    July 2017
    June 2017
    May 2017
    April 2017
    March 2017
    February 2017
    January 2017
    December 2016
    November 2016
    October 2016
    September 2016
    August 2016
    July 2016
    June 2016
    May 2016
    April 2016
    March 2016
    February 2016
    January 2016
    December 2015
    November 2015
    October 2015
    September 2015
    August 2015
    July 2015
    June 2015
    May 2015
    April 2015
    March 2015
    February 2015
    January 2015
    December 2014
    November 2014
    October 2014
    September 2014
    August 2014
    July 2014
    June 2014
    May 2014
    April 2014
    March 2014
    February 2014
    January 2014
    December 2013
    November 2013
    October 2013
    September 2013
    July 2013
    June 2013
    May 2013
    April 2013
    March 2013

    RSS Feed

    View my profile on LinkedIn
Powered by Create your own unique website with customizable templates.
Photos used under Creative Commons from James St. John, johnvoo_photographer, Graniers, liveoncelivewild, qnrshop, torbakhopper, JayCob L., sandklef, Sam_Catch, torbakhopper, Belzie, Tomas Sobek, Infomastern, flequi, seier+seier, Adrian Dreßler, wackybadger, Sound80Roma, Kurdishstruggle, Amourins, pit thompson, Lord Jim, mikecogh, forum.linvoyage.com, torbakhopper, mikecogh, Alice Barigelli, Irene Grassi (sun sand & sea), Ania i Artur Nowaccy, hyacinth50, Maxime Raphael, grilled cheese, theilr, paranamir, LotsaSmiles Photography, Seniju, hedera.baltica, joejukes, Kitty Terwolbeck, Z Carlos, Tambako the Jaguar, Barry B's Photography, villoks, mikecogh, kevin dooley, torbakhopper, Roudoudou Hirons, kellynphillong, Digikuvaaja, Philippe Put, avrene, brewbooks, mikecogh, Angelia's Photography, thethreesisters, Infomastern, mikebaird, Phil and Pam, Ashley Campbell Photography, mikecogh, CJS*64 A man with a camera, automobileitalia, Thomas Rousing Photography, Daniela Vladimirova, Hernan Piñera, mrsmorningsun, mattyeo, DrPhotoMoto, ECraig4, smallcurio, Rum Bucolic Ape, built4love.hain, Sir, Rony, Paul Schultz, forkcandles, VinothChandar, districtinroads, Daniel Sjöström, ingridkreuz, fabiane13, Jurastapark, erix!, tara marie, ** RCB **, missbutterflies, Denna Jones, Kyrre Gjerstad, .FuturePresent., Skley, LadyDragonflyCC - >;<, fofie57, torbakhopper, Parker Knight, Japanexperterna.se, °linda°!°, wht_wolf9653, DrPhotoMoto, oliver.kratzke, Su Bee Buzz!, Casey David, Iqbal Osman1, davidmulder61, TangOblivion, Kirt Edblom, Tambako the Jaguar, www.photosbyroberta.com, romanboed, Zemzina, UpSticksNGo, matthewcunnelly, Stuart Chalmers, Johan G, Prestonbot, blumenbiene, torbakhopper, Hitchster, Josep Ma. Rosell, Kurayba, frankieleon, pikawil100, torbakhopper, Sten Dueland, Sir, Rony, errase, erix!, JohnSeb, woodleywonderworks, Lisa Brewster, forum.linvoyage.com, aredmon48, Stewart Black, kevin dooley, KnockOut_Photographs, Lars Plougmann, Tela Chhe, tocausan, étoiles filantes, RobotSkirts, sprout_creative, Nina Matthews Photography, nadia nameless., Tribes of the World, donnierayjones, FJH Photography, Brainedge, torbakhopper, josh.greentree, Kjunstorm, KnockOut_Photographs, danigutib, Beverly & Pack, wackybadger, halfabear, foilman, jtstewart, Rob Gallop, Joel Müller, patrickmarcus, aellin, @sage_solar, Parker Knight, Nina Matthews Photography, Swami Stream, n_sapiens, VinothChandar, Sharon Mollerus, Rina V., cleide isabel, tsuru_g4, artist in doing nothing, AJC ajcann.wordpress.com, NIAID, pedrosimoes7, GollyGforce - Living My Worst Nightmare, Eric Van Buskirk, Infomastern, jfingas, davethebass, Anders Printz, AGraddyPhoto, Claudio Gennari ..."Cogli l'attimo ferma il tempo", leonyaakov, Free HDR & Photomanipulations - www.freestock.ca, Lara Cores, Schristia, ^@^ina (Irina Patrascu), Parker Knight, kevin dooley, Keoni Cabral, Nels_P_Olsen, Roger Blackwell, nathan_cef, RTD Photography, Astro witch, Steve A Johnson, Sir, Rony, RJJ245, Craig Loftus, martin 65, permanently scatterbrained, boellstiftung, seyed mostafa zamani, Mirra Photography, Pink Sherbet Photography, @RunRockPrincess, torbakhopper, Life of JennRene, EraPhernalia Vintage . . . (playin' hook-y ;o), CarbonNYC [in SF!], don r faulkner, stimpsonjake, Pannonius Rex, Paulo Brandão, jroblear, peasap, pedrosimoes7, steve p2008, Didriks, Ksionic, Ryan_M651, kalyan02, eflon, Khanelle Prod' Medias, francisco_osorio, kaibara87, Tanozzo, Leonard John Matthews, garwol4130, H o l l y., AK Rockefeller, Steven Pisano, amsfrank, jafsegal, freddie boy, HockeyholicAZ, James St. John, Parker Knight, kevin dooley, bortescristian, robynejay, Rutkowski Photography, Poetprince, Ani Carrington, torbakhopper, Swami Stream, caalo10, Sten Dueland, swong95765, af.fotografie, H o l l y., MarkMoz12, Cameron Ba✝hory, jvoves, oddmenout, All Kinds of New, !Koss, the Italian voice, black.mirror, Thomas Leuthard, Helga Weber, chang2034, kleinfreund, francisco_osorio, Forsaken Fotos, Philipe Photos, Crystalline Radical, Rennett Stowe, jasleen_kaur, Jamiecat *, H o l l y., VinothChandar, slyronit, simpleinsomnia, Toffee Maky, Carodean Road Designs, State Farm, World/In/My/Eyes, dj1471, ulisse albiati, Erik Charlton, donnierayjones, Spirit-Fire, See-ming Lee 李思明 SML, DoD News Features, quinn.anya, ilovememphis, christiankaff, Eric Kilby, felixp7, steviep187, llinddsayy, moonlightbulb, japanese_craft_construction, Monkey Mash Button, Yuri Yu. Samoilov, Oneras, Clearly Ambiguous, dolbinator1000, Purple Sherbet Photography, peno4, SashaW, tvdxer, F▲IL, Philippe Put, torbakhopper, Robert Agthe, CJS*64 A man with a camera, tiinal91, Ray Bouknight, Matiluba, jk+too, Tasos K., tnssofres, CJS*64, Martin Pulaski, marfis75, mikecogh, CityTree עץבעיר, potzuyoko, Ania i Artur Nowaccy, Orin Zebest, Spider.Dog, Synergy by Jasmine, bearepresa, Prestonbot, Photommo, jseliger2, Life of JennRene, Alaskan Dude, CJS*64, CJS*64, XYZ Wedding Photography, rawdonfox, Maik Meid, janeperezphoto, Laurel L. Russwurm, Trenten Kelley Photography, Cast a Line, TaMiMi Q8, Davide Restivo, Silentmind8, mikecogh, Aurelien G. Photographie, psyberartist, amateur photography by michel, baumrasen, scarlett.photo, fromthemitten, ierdnall, distelfliege, Nina Matthews Photography, hepp, televisione, Pixelteufel, amboo who?, CarbonNYC, JohnGoode, Simon & His Camera, Eliezer Borges, ricky_1146, juliejordanscott, Mizrak, Tjook, Ambernectar 13, torbakhopper, Esteban Parreno, garryknight, torbakhopper, Ania i Artur Nowaccy, Jeff Hudgins / Alabama, pcutler, Craig Hatfield, Ravages, akimela, olivierbxl, Bengt Nyman, mikecogh, Evoflash, Erin Stoodley, DanielKrieg.de, włodi, db Photography | Demi-Brooke, Linds :), nattu, jurvetson, KLGreenNYC, phalinn, gailhampshire, Maria Schaefer Photography, torbakhopper, gabepopa, josemanuelerre, Simson_Petrol, postman.pete, Photography by Brian Lauer, quinn.anya, Jo Naylor, matrianklw, donjd2, H.P. Brinkmann, junxdelux, ewan traveler, AndresRSaenz, Alyssa L. Miller, Bruce Guenter, timlewisnm, valhouser, GabPRR, .tafo., Dwilliams851, katerha, wbaiv, MDB Images, ketrin1407, qwrrty, Neal., liquene, chaps1, Neal., raymond_zoller, ellenm1, Rusty Clark - On the Air M-F 8am-noon, istolethetv, Pedro Rotta, UrbanDigger.com, takebackyourhealthconference, GU / 古天熱, hahnfamilywines, epSos.de, seeveeaar, Spojení, Isabel Cortés Úbeda, Beedie's Photos, QUOI Media, bastii., zayzayem, jordanmerrick, Kirsten Hartsoch, Keoni Cabral, keyofnight, Peter Werkman (www.peterwerkman.nl), Street Photography Addict, Blucoala, markus spiske, Ricymar Photography (Thanks to all the fans!!!!), moonjazz, MsSaraKelly, namuit, joannapoe, Zabowski