Jo Ellen Fletcher, M.A., LMFT
  • Home
  • Yelp! Reviews
  • About
  • Couples Therapy
  • Individual Therapy
  • Contact
  • Blog
  • Addiction
  • More
    • More Testimonials
    • Family
    • Resources and Related Links
    • Neurofeedback

Softening into Joy

6/25/2014

0 Comments

 
Picture
The common arsenal we perceive to protect our vulnerability seems to be a part of many people's personal armor.  Foreboding joy, or the dread that clamps down on momentary joyfulness; perfectionism, or believing that doing everything perfectly means you will never feel shame; and numbing, the embrace of whatever deadens the pain of discomfort and pain is perceived protection from our vulnerable self.

"In exploring joy, I realize it is one of the most difficult emotions to really feel.  Because we lose the ability or willingness to be vulnerable, joy becomes something we approach with deep foreboding.  This shift from our younger self's greeting of joy with unalloyed delight happens slowly and outside our awareness.  We don't seem to even know that it is happening or why..  We just know that we crave more joy in our lives, that we are joy starved." 

In a culture of deep scarcity, of never feeling safe, or enough, joy can feel like a setup.  "I wake up and feeling good, all is right with work, no major crises are happening, disaster must be lurking around the corner." 

Softening into joyful moments of our lives requires vulnerability.

"What was the most surprising and life changing moment for me was the nature of the reminder.  Vulnerability accompanies joy which is also an invitation to practice gratitude.  To acknowledge how truly grateful we are for the person, the beauty, the connection, or simply the moment before us.  Many describe joy as a spiritual way of engaging with the world that is connected to practicing gratitude."

Practicing gratitude is how we acknowledge that there is enough and that
we are enough. 


Joy comes to us in moments -- ordinary moments.  We miss risking out on joy when we get too busy chasing down the extraordinary.  
Being grateful for what I have is honoring what I have and also honoring what I have lost too. 

Softening into joy is uncomfortable. 
Yes, it's vulnerable.  Every time we allow ourselves to lean into joy and give in to those moments, we build resilience and we cultivate hope.  The joy becomes part of who we are, and when bad things happen--and they do happen--we are stronger.

Brene Brown
Daring Greatly







0 Comments



Leave a Reply.

    Author:
    Jo Ellen Fletcher, M.A.
    Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist


    Archives

    November 2021
    October 2021
    September 2021
    May 2021
    April 2021
    August 2020
    July 2020
    June 2020
    May 2020
    April 2020
    December 2019
    August 2019
    May 2019
    April 2019
    March 2019
    February 2019
    January 2019
    December 2018
    October 2018
    September 2018
    August 2018
    June 2018
    March 2018
    November 2017
    October 2017
    August 2017
    July 2017
    June 2017
    May 2017
    April 2017
    March 2017
    February 2017
    January 2017
    December 2016
    November 2016
    October 2016
    September 2016
    August 2016
    July 2016
    June 2016
    May 2016
    April 2016
    March 2016
    February 2016
    January 2016
    December 2015
    November 2015
    October 2015
    September 2015
    August 2015
    July 2015
    June 2015
    May 2015
    April 2015
    March 2015
    February 2015
    January 2015
    December 2014
    November 2014
    October 2014
    September 2014
    August 2014
    July 2014
    June 2014
    May 2014
    April 2014
    March 2014
    February 2014
    January 2014
    December 2013
    November 2013
    October 2013
    September 2013
    July 2013
    June 2013
    May 2013
    April 2013
    March 2013

    RSS Feed

    View my profile on LinkedIn
Powered by Create your own unique website with customizable templates.
Photos used under Creative Commons from James St. John, johnvoo_photographer, Graniers, liveoncelivewild, qnrshop, torbakhopper, JayCob L., sandklef, Sam_Catch, torbakhopper, Belzie, Tomas Sobek, Infomastern, flequi, seier+seier, Adrian Dreßler, wackybadger, Sound80Roma, Kurdishstruggle, Amourins, pit thompson, Lord Jim, mikecogh, forum.linvoyage.com, torbakhopper, mikecogh, Alice Barigelli, Irene Grassi (sun sand & sea), Ania i Artur Nowaccy, hyacinth50, Maxime Raphael, grilled cheese, theilr, paranamir, LotsaSmiles Photography, Seniju, hedera.baltica, joejukes, Kitty Terwolbeck, Z Carlos, Tambako the Jaguar, Barry B's Photography, villoks, mikecogh, kevin dooley, torbakhopper, Roudoudou Hirons, kellynphillong, Digikuvaaja, Philippe Put, avrene, brewbooks, mikecogh, Angelia's Photography, thethreesisters, Infomastern, mikebaird, Phil and Pam, Ashley Campbell Photography, mikecogh, CJS*64 A man with a camera, automobileitalia, Thomas Rousing Photography, Daniela Vladimirova, Hernan Piñera, mrsmorningsun, mattyeo, DrPhotoMoto, ECraig4, smallcurio, Rum Bucolic Ape, built4love.hain, Sir, Rony, Paul Schultz, forkcandles, VinothChandar, districtinroads, Daniel Sjöström, ingridkreuz, fabiane13, Jurastapark, erix!, tara marie, ** RCB **, missbutterflies, Denna Jones, Kyrre Gjerstad, .FuturePresent., Skley, LadyDragonflyCC - >;<, fofie57, torbakhopper, Parker Knight, Japanexperterna.se, °linda°!°, wht_wolf9653, DrPhotoMoto, oliver.kratzke, Su Bee Buzz!, Casey David, Iqbal Osman1, davidmulder61, TangOblivion, Kirt Edblom, Tambako the Jaguar, www.photosbyroberta.com, romanboed, Zemzina, UpSticksNGo, matthewcunnelly, Stuart Chalmers, Johan G, Prestonbot, blumenbiene, torbakhopper, Hitchster, Josep Ma. Rosell, Kurayba, frankieleon, pikawil100, torbakhopper, Sten Dueland, Sir, Rony, errase, erix!, JohnSeb, woodleywonderworks, Lisa Brewster, forum.linvoyage.com, aredmon48, Stewart Black, kevin dooley, KnockOut_Photographs, Lars Plougmann, Tela Chhe, tocausan, étoiles filantes, RobotSkirts, sprout_creative, Nina Matthews Photography, nadia nameless., Tribes of the World, donnierayjones, FJH Photography, Brainedge, torbakhopper, josh.greentree, Kjunstorm, KnockOut_Photographs, danigutib, Beverly & Pack, wackybadger, halfabear, foilman, jtstewart, Rob Gallop, Joel Müller, patrickmarcus, aellin, @sage_solar, Parker Knight, Nina Matthews Photography, Swami Stream, n_sapiens, VinothChandar, Sharon Mollerus, Rina V., cleide isabel, tsuru_g4, artist in doing nothing, AJC ajcann.wordpress.com, NIAID, pedrosimoes7, GollyGforce - Living My Worst Nightmare, Eric Van Buskirk, Infomastern, jfingas, davethebass, Anders Printz, AGraddyPhoto, Claudio Gennari ..."Cogli l'attimo ferma il tempo", leonyaakov, Free HDR & Photomanipulations - www.freestock.ca, Lara Cores, Schristia, ^@^ina (Irina Patrascu), Parker Knight, kevin dooley, Keoni Cabral, Nels_P_Olsen, Roger Blackwell, nathan_cef, RTD Photography, Astro witch, Steve A Johnson, Sir, Rony, RJJ245, Craig Loftus, martin 65, permanently scatterbrained, boellstiftung, seyed mostafa zamani, Mirra Photography, Pink Sherbet Photography, @RunRockPrincess, torbakhopper, Life of JennRene, EraPhernalia Vintage . . . (playin' hook-y ;o), CarbonNYC [in SF!], don r faulkner, stimpsonjake, Pannonius Rex, Paulo Brandão, jroblear, peasap, pedrosimoes7, steve p2008, Didriks, Ksionic, Ryan_M651, kalyan02, eflon, Khanelle Prod' Medias, francisco_osorio, kaibara87, Tanozzo, Leonard John Matthews, garwol4130, H o l l y., AK Rockefeller, Steven Pisano, amsfrank, jafsegal, freddie boy, HockeyholicAZ, James St. John, Parker Knight, kevin dooley, bortescristian, robynejay, Rutkowski Photography, Poetprince, Ani Carrington, torbakhopper, Swami Stream, caalo10, Sten Dueland, swong95765, af.fotografie, H o l l y., MarkMoz12, Cameron Ba✝hory, jvoves, oddmenout, All Kinds of New, !Koss, the Italian voice, black.mirror, Thomas Leuthard, Helga Weber, chang2034, kleinfreund, francisco_osorio, Forsaken Fotos, Philipe Photos, Crystalline Radical, Rennett Stowe, jasleen_kaur, Jamiecat *, H o l l y., VinothChandar, slyronit, simpleinsomnia, Toffee Maky, Carodean Road Designs, State Farm, World/In/My/Eyes, dj1471, ulisse albiati, Erik Charlton, donnierayjones, Spirit-Fire, See-ming Lee 李思明 SML, DoD News Features, quinn.anya, ilovememphis, christiankaff, Eric Kilby, felixp7, steviep187, llinddsayy, moonlightbulb, japanese_craft_construction, Monkey Mash Button, Yuri Yu. Samoilov, Oneras, Clearly Ambiguous, dolbinator1000, Purple Sherbet Photography, peno4, SashaW, tvdxer, F▲IL, Philippe Put, torbakhopper, Robert Agthe, CJS*64 A man with a camera, tiinal91, Ray Bouknight, Matiluba, jk+too, Tasos K., tnssofres, CJS*64, Martin Pulaski, marfis75, mikecogh, CityTree עץבעיר, potzuyoko, Ania i Artur Nowaccy, Orin Zebest, Spider.Dog, Synergy by Jasmine, bearepresa, Prestonbot, Photommo, jseliger2, Life of JennRene, Alaskan Dude, CJS*64, CJS*64, XYZ Wedding Photography, rawdonfox, Maik Meid, janeperezphoto, Laurel L. Russwurm, Trenten Kelley Photography, Cast a Line, TaMiMi Q8, Davide Restivo, Silentmind8, mikecogh, Aurelien G. Photographie, psyberartist, amateur photography by michel, baumrasen, scarlett.photo, fromthemitten, ierdnall, distelfliege, Nina Matthews Photography, hepp, televisione, Pixelteufel, amboo who?, CarbonNYC, JohnGoode, Simon & His Camera, Eliezer Borges, ricky_1146, juliejordanscott, Mizrak, Tjook, Ambernectar 13, torbakhopper, Esteban Parreno, garryknight, torbakhopper, Ania i Artur Nowaccy, Jeff Hudgins / Alabama, pcutler, Craig Hatfield, Ravages, akimela, olivierbxl, Bengt Nyman, mikecogh, Evoflash, Erin Stoodley, DanielKrieg.de, włodi, db Photography | Demi-Brooke, Linds :), nattu, jurvetson, KLGreenNYC, phalinn, gailhampshire, Maria Schaefer Photography, torbakhopper, gabepopa, josemanuelerre, Simson_Petrol, postman.pete, Photography by Brian Lauer, quinn.anya, Jo Naylor, matrianklw, donjd2, H.P. Brinkmann, junxdelux, ewan traveler, AndresRSaenz, Alyssa L. Miller, Bruce Guenter, timlewisnm, valhouser, GabPRR, .tafo., Dwilliams851, katerha, wbaiv, MDB Images, ketrin1407, qwrrty, Neal., liquene, chaps1, Neal., raymond_zoller, ellenm1, Rusty Clark - On the Air M-F 8am-noon, istolethetv, Pedro Rotta, UrbanDigger.com, takebackyourhealthconference, GU / 古天熱, hahnfamilywines, epSos.de, seeveeaar, Spojení, Isabel Cortés Úbeda, Beedie's Photos, QUOI Media, bastii., zayzayem, jordanmerrick, Kirsten Hartsoch, Keoni Cabral, keyofnight, Peter Werkman (www.peterwerkman.nl), Street Photography Addict, Blucoala, markus spiske, Ricymar Photography (Thanks to all the fans!!!!), moonjazz, MsSaraKelly, namuit, joannapoe, Zabowski