Jo Ellen Fletcher, M.A., LMFT
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The Ego Mind's Way of Making Decisions

11/10/2014

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When we ask the question, "Was 'x' a good decision?" what is it that we are asking?

Before answering, it is useful to understand the foundation and motivating factors from which
all ego-based decisions are made.


The ego is fueled by fear, and the decision-making process of the ego runs of the same power source. 


The ego makes decisions based on fear and convinces us that these decisions are rational.
 

More precisely, many ego decisions come from a fear-based thought system rooted in the following:

Fear of Loss. I might lose something if I am not careful.
Fear of Inadequacy.  I may not be liked or approved of it I don't make the right decision.
Fear of time.  I might waste time if I don't react properly and efficiently.
Fear of abandonment, based upon the fear of separation. 
I may offend someone and they will abandon me.
Fear of loss of power. 
Someone else might "get ahead" of me.
Fear of embarrassment, based upon feelings of shame.
  If I make the wrong decision it will prove that I am not worthwhile.
Fear of the body.   I am physically unable to do what it takes.

Making decisions based upon fear allows the ego mind to convince us to make use of its finely honed skills---skills that actually reinforce fear. 

We begin to think that the ego's skills which include judging, analyzing, comparing, critiquing, contrasting, avoiding, competing, and intimidating, result in making safe and secure decisions.

Yet decisions based on fear never result in our feeling safe and secure.


The whole mind, not just the ego mind, approaches decisions from a totally different angle; instead of fear, decisions are based on trust. 

What fuels the whole mind is different also, the only goal of the whole mind is all its decisions are based on the intention to create a tranquil mind.

Thought I still sometimes get trapped in the ego's way of making decisions, I have committed myself to learn the decision making process of the whole mind. 

More specifically, as I allow myself to consistently practice quieting the
endless
chatter of the ego
, the wisdom of the whole mind can begin to be heard.


The Art of trust ~ Jampolsky


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    Author:
    Jo Ellen Fletcher, M.A.
    Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist


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