Jo Ellen Fletcher, M.A., LMFT
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Three Lessons About Joy.

1/18/2016

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1. Joy comes to us in moments--ordinary moments.  We risk missing out on joy when we get too busy chasing down the extraordinary.  Scarcity culture may keep us afraid of living small, ordinary lives, but when you talk to people who have survived great losses, it is clear that joy is not a constant.  Without exception, people who speak about their losses, what they missed the most, spoke about ordinary moments.  "If I could come downstairs and see my husband sitting at the table and cursing at the newspaper, just one more time..."

2. Be grateful for what you have.
 
People who have survived tragedy how to cultivate and show more compassion for people who are suffering, the answer was always the same: Don't shrink away from the joy of your child because I have lost mine.  Don't take for granted---celebrate it.   Don't apologize for what you have.  Be grateful for it, share your gratitude with others.  Are your parents healthy, be thrilled.  Let them know who much they mean to you.

3. Don't squander joy.  We cannot prepare for tragedy and loss.  When we turn every opportunity to feel joy into a test drive for despair, we actually diminish our resilience.  Softening into joy is uncomfortable.  Yes, it is scary.  Yes, it is vulnerable.  But every time we allow ourselves to lean into joy and give in to those moments, we build resilience and we cultivate hope.  The joy becomes part of who we are, and when bad things happen---and they do happen---we are stronger.






Taken from: Daring Greatly/Brene Brown
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    Author:
    Jo Ellen Fletcher, M.A.
    Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist


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