they are in their authentic selves.
We as humans
have a need to belong.
We are connected to our emotions.
A baby cries, they are attended to.
However, as the child becomes a toddler
and reacts with anger
and punished they are being taught
that all emotions are not tolerable.
So if you give a toddler a cookie and they get mad,
which they will, and the parent sits them in the corner for getting angry,they learn anger is not allowed.
The lesson to the toddler is: If I experience my authentic self in childhood I will lose my attachment.
So I will give up my authentic self to belong.
Authenticity becomes a threat.
We are taught to give our authentic selves up to belong.
Speech by Theodore Roosevelt, the Man in the Arena, 1910.
It is not the critic who counts;
not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles,
or where the doer of deeds could have done better.
The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena,
whose face is marred by dust, sweat and blood; who strive valiantly;
who err, who comes short again & again,
Because there is not effort without error and shortcoming;
but who does actually strive to do the deeds;
who knows great enthusiasm, the great devotions;
who spends himself in a worthy cause;
Who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement,
and who at the worst, if he fails at lease fails while daring greatly…”
Vulnerability is the capacity to be wounded.
Defenses are developed to protect a child from pain.
When we are hurt in childhood, vulnerability is too powerful to bear and we shut down.
However growth does not happen without vulnerability.
Vulnerability in nature is essential for growth.
When we dismiss vulnerability as weakness, we are confusing ‘feeling’ with failing
and emotions as a liability.
To reclaim the essential emotional part of our lives and to re-ignite our passion and our purpose
we have to learn how to own and engage with our vulnerability
and how to feel the emotions that come with it.
The best part is learning vulnerability and understanding vulnerability.
In loving someone we leave ourselves emotionally exposed.
Vulnerability is uncertainty, a risk and emotional exposure.
Vulnerability is also sharing an unpopular opinion, standing up for myself,
saying no, starting my own business, laying off employees,
the first date after my divorce, falling in love,
breaking up from my love to keep my honor,
trying something new, exercising in public, admitting I am afraid, being accountable,
having faith, fired, taking off the mask and
hoping the real me is not too disappointing, not sucking it in anymore,
letting go of control, being all in, is freedom, fear,
every single time, baring your belly in the face of the enemy,
terrifying and necessary, being naked when everyone else is clothed,
and taking the first step in what you fear the most.
Taken from writings of Brene Brown